WHY? The Famous Question

WHY? The Famous Question

Last week, I said I was going to explain why this happens: “With every loss, you feel like a part of you has been chipped away. The more close to home the loss is, the bigger the chunk it seems to take from you”.

We’ve been looking at the issue of loss for the past two weeks and we’re continuing today. Leaders experience loss at different levels and in different areas of their lives and regardless of whether it is a personal or a professional loss, it creates a void that cannot be ignored. For those of you that have ever experienced any kind of loss that affected you in one way or another, please keep reading (and make sure you read the two previous posts).

Loss is no respecter of persons, it visits the rich as well as the lowly, the renowned as well the obscure, the intelligent as well as the ignorant, the strong as well as the weak–and all else in between. I’m almost as sure as I can possibly be that for most of you reading this, you’ve experienced some form of loss that has really left you shaken, wondering and/or probably asking the most famous loss question: WHY?

Maybe you’ve just lost a loved one and it feels like the world has stood still for you. It could be that you’ve just lost a large sum of money to a business deal gone bad and you can’t see how you’ll ever bounce back from this. This might not even be about death or resources for you; it could very well be that your child has just left home because of some issues at home and you know that you might never get back that parent/child relationship you’ve always wanted ever again. Perhaps you’re in a position where you’ve lost your spouse to a separation or a divorce and you fear that you might never experience marital bliss ever again.

Whatever the case may be, you’ve lost something and you feel this void–if it were just the void, it might even be easier to deal with–but it’s not just the void; it’s the pain, the hurt, the guilt, the regrets, the anger, the vulnerability and sometimes the confusion. It’s all these emotions tearing at you, each one wanting to establish its right to remain and take center stage.

Why does this happen though? Why can’t we just loose someone or something and just deal with it and move on without having to go through any process at all of acceptance and/or healing?

Here’s your answer: Investment!

Investment is the reason we suffer loss and feel like a part of us has been chipped away. It’s the reason the closer to home the loss is, the bigger the chunk we feel has been chipped. Your investment of time, resources and relationship is what makes you the perfect candidate for all these emotions to come flooding in when you experience loss; it’s what makes it necessary also for you to give yourself time to accept, heal and then reposition. Having said this, does this now mean that we avoid making investments in order for us to protect ourselves from experiencing the effects of loss? Now that’s ridiculous! It’s like saying: “I will not eat anymore because I realise when I eat, it just goes in one way and comes out another way”, or: “I cannot keep spending money and time to buy food if all that happens is that I lose it at  the end of the day”.

We’ll continue from here next week, until then continue to;

Lead right and Live light

Belinda

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